"All I have learned, I learned from books."
- Abraham Lincoln

Monday, October 28, 2013

Terrible Two Stage is OVER!

I'm so glad to see my baby Nathaniel being in control of his emotions. I never wanted to believe that terrible two stage exists but in both cases of Eaton and Nathaniel I have to say it does. I really enjoy last 3 weeks with no cry, no tantrums, no screaming..

OO what a peaceful home it is now :-) Love it..

7 comments:

wkropka von BILDschön said...

Lucky you! i'm still waiting.... ;)

Swathi said...

Belated Happy Birthday Nathaniel.

Swathi

Marta said...

Magda! Your turn is coming pretty soon!

Swathi! Thank you, Nathaniel is 2,5 now, I heard that terrible two stage last even beyond 3 years old. I feel like I can handle anything now :)
Marta

rua said...

what did you do Marta? what was your strategies ? any recommended book or technique that worked with u?

Marta said...

Rua,
I gave up when I met a Japanese lady who had 2 beautiful sons,a little bit older than my boys. She said she never experience ANY tantrums with her boys. She NEVER heard any scream or tantrum from them. I was in shock. I asked How come? She said: I heard it's genetic. Then I asked her more about her behavior towards her kids, her husband character and from what she said she is very calm lady and her husband is the same way. Honestly I never met anyone like her before. I met her many times and she is a lady with no stress in her body at all. The way she talkes to you is very calming and it relaxes you. I always felt great where she was around. Like a warm energy surrounding her (I can tell you I'm pretty good at sensing energy from other people:)

So I came back home a little bit broke down from what I heard because for me it would make sense what she said. I never looked into that in reaserches or scientific papers, maybe I should. The only thing I could do is to respond differently to my baby's tantrums.First thing I did was to keep my earplugs close to me so it will keep me in a come down mode;-)
But whenever tantrum happened I reacted with positive, warm behavior. I did smile, hugged him, kissed but when the tantrum persisted I just walked away and left him alone for few minutes. But when I did that Nathaniel knew I'm there for him. After few minutes when he starteted to come down I came back to him and we hugged each other for about 10 min. I remember him crying for 30 min with no reaction . Whenever I came back he acted as he was mad at me, he was in some kind of zone I couldn't reach. Since I started to react positively to his tantrums they started to slowly dissapear. I just stopped taking tantrums personally. I didn't fight them anymore.I allowed Nathaniel to have tantrums and deal with them on his own. I thought that me as a parent need to be the one who handle that situation but I was wrong. Of course we had tantrums in stores, parks, car and I needed to handle that positively as well. It wasn't easy especially with my health situation when I had those bursts of anger coming out because of my thyroid disorder and unballanced hormons.
Overall I would say stop fighting tantrums and stop taking it personally, then you will see some positive feedback from your child. If anyone knows any better solution I would be glad to hear that, although that stage is behind me I know that the future can bring some tantrums anyway.
Have a great day Rua!

rua said...

waw. i love those discovery moments.
Rkan has passed that stage too but it took him more time since he had terrible three as well. he is 4.5 now and much much better. he needs to reason and to be explained why he should not do instead of being ordered and the minute i tell him why, he will tell me AAAahhhh thats why, Ok mama.

and i think that giving him timeouts made his tantrum and stubbornness worse. so i dont do time outs any more.


Rua said...

by the way. i was alos diagnosed by hyperthyroidism ( Graves) and am trying to control it naturally with no success so far !!!!!
i will send u an email soon.

take care
Rua